sue murray

EARTH ANGEL
DISABLED BY CHANCE … ENABLED BY CHOICE

I find having a disability, although it has its challenges and trying times, it has been above all, a blessing in disguise. Although I live in a physically disabled persons body, I live as freely as an able bodied person, without limitations, and I don’t see my disability as a negative. Going through dark periods, I began to question life, and thought often about the things that have shaped me into becoming who I am, helping me to discover my life’s purpose.

Over the years, a number of people close to me, referred to me as an “Earth Angel” ...and I began to question why. What was so different about me that those that were nearest and dearest to me saw me as this “Angel”. I later discovered that they were inspired by my attitude to life, by making each day more magical the last, and not focusing on the negatives of my disability. To them this is something to look up to, but for me it’s my ‘norm’.

It is my belief that ‘attitude is everything’ and if you choose to see yourself and your circumstances as a blessing, and appreciate this very human existence, and experiences we call life, in a positive way, no matter the physical body God has given you, you will lead a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

AS A WOLF I AM ABLE TO ROAM FREELY AMONGST THEM…
Though I am real and I do exist – I can freely move amongst a crowd of people without being noticed by them. Although I am not invisible – My presence is often ignored by most of them. Even as I attempt to speak and be heard, most of them seem unable or unwilling to comprehend.
It is like they don’t think I can have a voice, as though I am unable to speak their language, as if they expect someone else to speak for me, they act as though because I am different from them that I’m unable to communicate with them at all.
Seldom do I find that people attempt to make eye contact with me, and nearly all of them seem to shun and look away from me upon my approach. This treatment which I receive from the majority of people means I can roam about within a crowd, yet none of them will acknowledge my existence.
However, when I am in the outdoors amongst my fellow creatures of nature, they see me and engage in eye contact with me. They of course are animal beings rather than human beings, and it is they who acknowledge my existence, much more than my fellow humans.
Perhaps they are afraid of me because I am different from them, or their fears of the unknown. I am the unknown, which they fear. I am the one they do not want to confront nor spend time with. Perhaps because of their insecurities, prejudices and discriminations.
I am nothing to be scared of. I am nothing but a Wolf, maybe a lone Wolf, a wounded Wolf. Yet always a clever Wolf, and most certainly a proud Wolf.
So what’s to fear about me – perhaps nothing, unless as an angry Wolf I decide to pounce and without remorse or shame, wolf (down) a sheepie or two…
Ha Ha, Howl, gotcha – just joking, as I am also known as the larrikin Wolf too. Howl ya like me now!

TO MY PARENTS ALECKSANDER AND BLAGA
FOR THEIR NEVER ENDING LOVE, STRENGTH AND COURAGE.
When I was 27 Doctors discovered that I had a giant-cell tumor of the bone on the T10 vertebrae. Cancer treatment and 6 operations later, I was left with no cancer, but I was unable to walk.
This image acknowledges my gratitude to my parents Alecksander and Blaga for their unconditional love, strength and courage. As non English speaking immigrants from Bitola in Macedonia
they arrived with only a suitcase between them, And with the true love they had for each other. They did everything together.
Their pillar of strength was such that I did not focus on my disability. To me they never showed their worry. I never saw their sorrow or grief. My father felt he had to be strong for me. After his death I found out that he wanted to change places with me. He didn’t want me to suffer. He always had a smile on his face for me.
They gave me courage and strength and unconditional love. They never once complained about the effort it took. Nothing was ever a problem. They changed their house. They came to all my appointments. They always said “our riches and wealth are our children”. My mother would say, “I’m your mother and you’re not dying”. If she said “You will be fine”, I believed her. I couldn’t do anything less.
Their eyes would light up when they saw me dressed to go out. They always said “As long as I was happy, they were happy.”